So i know this is a little late, but i wanted to write and say goodbye, and share a few things of the things I've learned from the world race. This trip changed my life. Its crazy to think that God took me on a special journey, just to show me how much He loves me.
One of the biggest things i learned was the value of community. I had no idea what it would be like to be surrounded by godly people 24-7, quite honestly i thought it would be a bit annoying, but i can tell you- it is lovely. At times it was challenging for them to always be there watching and listening to you, but it made me realize what it meant to truly be accountable. My teams and their words of love, encouragement, and correction helped shape and mold me into a new and better woman. They taught me what it meant to be loved, just as I am. What it means to encourage each other to be better. I realize how important it is to surround myself with those who lift you up, and who you lift up in return.
Along with this I learned about trust. When i went to training camp i was several thousand dollars under the goal, and within 6 months God provided all the funds i needed for the whole trip! Praise God! He showed me that He was really able to provide for all my needs. In addition to learning to trust God, i had to learn to trust others- my team mates, leaders, and even contacts. I was continually at the mercy of someone else. I hardly ever knew where we were going, when we would get there, where we would sleep, or what we would eat. I cant tell you how many times in the first 3 months Heather had to tell me "Sarah, we arent going to let you starve." Ive always thought of myself as a "survivor," always looking out for me because "if I don't, no one else will." Well as it turns out, thats false. The devil wants you to believe that youre the only one who can care for you. God says, "dont worry." Its so nice to know i dont have to go it alone.
One thing I learned that I didnt know I needed to was that God can and will use me for His will. I think I always thought that He would use those people that were much "holier" than me, and that I was just a back up. But to my surprise- He wanted to use me! Because of this, i got to see places that i had never dreamed of, and the chance to pour into the lives of people all around the world. I could never thank Him enough for such and immense blessing.
And most importantly I learned about being Beloved. This Race, this story, was God's love story to me. Throughout the whole trip God continually brought back one word to me- Love. He had to take me out into the wilderness to speak tenderly to me. He helped me see so many lies i believed about myself, about love, about God- and to let go (with a little divine help from Aly Beeler and Carin Cownden) and be loved. I knew I was "forgiven" but i could never let go of those memories, and disbelief that He could love ME!!! But He showed me that i was worth it. I am Beloved.
I only have one regret from the Race, and that is not loving more. I see everyone from O-Squad talking and getting together, and i so wish that i had loved harder and gotten closer. love is worth taking a chance, even if it seems scary. I realize now that love is a choice, and I have to chose in every day, and pray that God gives me the strength to love like He does.
I never want to forget the glorious times i had with God, the Cheatahs, Team Shiloh, Team Dove, all every beautiful face I had the privilege of seeing around the world.
But I know that for something new to begin, something else must end.
Isaiah 43: 18-19
18 "Forget the former things;
do not dwell on the past.
19 See, I am doing
a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness
and streams in the wasteland.
To read more about these new beginnings see my new blog at:
Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, to all of you who have prayed with me, partnered financially, and followed my journey. I pray that you will be deeply blessed,
This is Josephina. She lives in the "orphanage" that we've been working with this month. She is the definition of lovable. Every time we would show up she would come and hug me, and hold on until i'd let go. She wants to be loved, and to love so much. I love her.
I heard just a little bit of her story and it made my stomach hurt and brought tears to my eyes. She was raped when she was 6 and now has an eating disorder, as well as other psychological and learning problems. She has a brain tumor that she has to take expensive medications for (that no one can afford, so she has seizures instead). She lives in this dark place now, where there is no one really taking care of her- because she has no where else to go, and no one else to love her. I want to adopt her. She's 17 years old.
This is one day at ministry. Shes so silly. I think developmentally she's about 12 years old. I also think that given the oportunity to go to school, and if someone worked with her, she would thrive. She's so smart.
McDonalds with Josephina and Elsa.
Saying goodbye
I love this face. I cant look into her eyes without feeling so many emotions. I hated saying goodbye, not being able to go and love on her, to tell her that she is valuable, not knowing what will happen to her.
Its so hard loving with your heart wide open. but its what God asks us to do. im going to continue to pray about her, and if God is asking me to do something crazy, how ill do that. Pray for her
Ps im at final debrief in Antigua, Guatemala. This is my last week on the field. If you want to make a final donation please do so this week!!! thank you for helping me do this. love you
So i've been day dreaming about some things im excited to come home to (not included in this list are people- which of course im most excited about) these things may seem small, but when you dont have them- its weird.
1. Toilet paper- 3ply, quilted, available everywhere
2. A real bed, in a room cold enough for my down comforter
3. Food. normal food. Cheese and fried potatoes to be specific
4. My dog. i miss her so
5. The salon. Decent hair cuts...
6. Controlling when where and what i eat
7. Hand towels. clean ones, and lots of them
8. Gravy- i know i said food, but this is special
9. Grilling out with the fam
10. Normal shoes
11. TV and WII fit
12. No more bags/baggies. Ziplocks and i dont get along
13. A real closet, and drawers. Something about piles of stuff on the floors makes you feel homeless
14. Washer and dryer. oh for the love of dryer sheets. also for my clothes to just not stink
15. Cars. Walking is overrated :)
Oh how the little things can make you feel. One week til im on American soil!!!
So here i am in month 11 country 12- theres constant talk about going home, our plans, what we're excited about- it would be so easy to just coast through these last few days- but God doesnt work like that. Apparently His plans dont work around my meager 11 month commitment to him- and in everyone and everything He is working! So i thought id tell you guys about a few of the awesome times ive had lately in ministry-
The other night i had another cool first- Church on the water!!! We went to this small church that was built into a boat dock, there was a super sweet view all the way around. It was small but as the locals say "big in spirit." There were boats all around it- apparently some of the people drove from little islands to come to church. The preacher was this older man that reminded me so much of the little old cowboys of Oklahoma- it made my heart happy. We prayed for freedom from lies for the church, led by Rachelle, and a
lot of the women broke down in tears as they proclaimed freedom from the
lies spoken over them.The people were so sweet, they even took us for a boat ride after church! It was truly amazing.
We've been working with a local church to raise money for the pastor- a member of his family was wrongfully accused and put in jail due to corruption- so we helped with a concert and a raffle. While selling tickets the other day Mary and i came across a man in the alley. He had an empty bottle of vodka in his pocket and was working on the bottle on the table- it was 11am. After a half-hearted attempt at selling a raffle ticket we got down to why we were really there- to pray for him. I asked if there was anything he needed for me to pray for and he said "everything." (keep in mind this was all in Spanish- God gives me words when He wants to speak) I told the man that i was going to pray for freedom in his life, health in his body, and peace in his heart. He began to cry and said "yes peace in my heart." We prayed fervently over him, and the darkness that was around him in that place, and then he asked me "why do you pray for me?" I told him that He was a son of God, and that we were family in Him- and that i cared. He couldnt hold back the tears as he held onto my hand. I asked him to come to church and he said "but this.." as he pointed to his half empty bottle. I told him it didnt matter- he could come with the bottle, that God would help him clean up- just to come. His eyes got so big and he said "really?!" Come to find out some of the churches here will turn you away if you smell like alcohol, or arent dressed correctly, or arent wearing the right shoes. I rebuke that in Jesus name. He came to heal the sick, and this man needed a doctor named Jesus. I told him that He was loved, and hugged him. I knew God had brought us to that place to meet with this man. Please pray for him.
Me and Mary with our raffle tickets
So we've been going into the Rostro, which is the neighborhood by the docks, primarily composed of fisherman from the Caribbean. Its a little spooky at night, groups of men hanging out in the shadows, we've been mostly going to the soccer field and hanging out there- which is cool but i just havent felt into it. Then the other night when we got to the area we prayed and asked God which way to go- and headed a direction we hadnt been before. We prayed over a hotel that we wondered if the business was by the hour- then walked by a crowded bar. As usual the men inside cat called to us, and some of them even came out to talk to us. (Dont freak out, we had several guys with us for protection, not to mention God) I smiled to myself as i thought, they arent going to be as jovial when they find out we're here to tell them about Jesus, so i stopped to amuse myself. Then i met Gabriel. There was something different in his eyes, something deeper. You could tell he was searching for something, for a light in the darkness. I told him we were missionaries and he sat his beer down and began to talk to us. I asked if i could pray for him, and he asked if we could pray for help with his drinking and drug problem, and for his little girl. I felt led to tell him how much God cared for him, and that no matter where he went or what he did that he couldnt make God love him less. It was so touching to watch the words of God touch his heart. At some point in the conversation we found out that he was in charge of that area of the street- for maintaining order of the drug deals. I knew that he had the potential to be a very dangerous man, but God has plans for this man and wanted us to shine a light into his very dark life. Several times people got to close to us and he protected us- i knew God was working in him. I thought it was kind of ironic that he had wings on his shirt and his name was Gabriel. Someday, when i get to heaven, i hope i can find out what God was up to with this man.
Anywho thats what ive been up to! Guess Gods not going to let me only give 11 months to him, and im ok with that. Im praying about how God wants to move after this race, and how i can pray into those situations every day. Pray with me.
So ive discovered that as a missionary and Christian "thats not in my job description" is not in my vocabulary. Even if i hate cleaning- thats irrelevant. Jesus said serve, and im trying. And sometimes it looks like this-
so ya we cleaned the house the other day in the morning, but in ministry you take the good with the bad. This is what our afternoon looked like:
I guess ill do whatever He asks of me. Usually turns out pretty well :)
So i know when you're traveling overseas there's the good the bad and the ugly- these are just some funny things we've dealt with on the race. I think they're funny hope you do too!
You know youre in a foreign country when...
20. Honking your horn is actually polite.
19. Murder vans are used as public transportation
18. You go to the barber and the 2 options are mullet and Bon Jovi (thanks Rachelle)
17. People take pictures of you because you're white
16. You're surprised when people understand what youre saying
15. You never know if you're waiting on someone else or they're waiting on you
14. The only thing you can communicate to the locals is "i dont understand"
13. You dont know exactly what everyone is saying, but you know they're talking about you
12. You're required to return your coke bottle
11. No matter what question you ask the answer is always yes
10. The houses look like paint swatches
9. You always carry toilet paper with you
8. Drinks come in bags
7. "Lawn mowers" are actually machetes and farm animals (this happens in OK too haha)
6. 9 o'clock actually means come at 10 and start and 10:30.
5. The only time you're cold is when youre in the shower
4. There is a real possibility of getting electrocuted in the shower
3. Picking up random babies that dont belong to you is perfectly ok
2. its ok to use the bathroom in the general public
1. People shout "muzungu" at you and it almost becomes endearing
It actually just occurred to me that you might have no idea what im talking about. Hopefully at least my fellow world racers will enjoy it :)
also i think it might have been funnier in my head
Ok so we went to the most amazing church last night. Fiesta Iglesia (party church) wasnt its real name but it was so much fun i decided i would call it that.
i think lately ive been a little jaded by churches. i think after 11 months of non stop church services- seeing that all over the world there is legalism and obligation and doing things to preserve an image- i was just sad. I guess i just thought that was mostly churches in the US, but nope it happens everywhere. I dont want to be dishonoring, i want a revolution. i want these chains and routines to be broken and a new spring of life in the church to come forth. i know that we are the church, the body and that has to begin with you and me- awesome lets go!
This church worshiped- i mean really worshiped- like it talks about in the Bible (see the Bible, and also Psalm 150). They sang and danced- and it really seemed like they didnt care what anyone thought. they werent doing it because anyone was watching, or because they were supposedd to sing for the first 23 minutes of church, transition into prayer/offering, with a 30 minute sermon to make sure to be out within the hour- no they were praising to PRAISE GOD!!! Oh it felt so good to be part of- to sing too him at the top of my lungs- just because He is good and i wanted to tell him i thought so.
Our contact Hilda leaned over and said "the spirit of God is here" HAHA YES!!! And he was indeed. You can only have that kind of joy when He is with you! And then God spoke to me "why wouldn't i come down and dance with my girls?" Oh he wants to live a beautifully crazy life with you! He wants to dance with you! He wants you to break free from fear of man and say- I do what God tells me to, I do not conform to the ways of this world! I will not hold back!
I think sometimes the devil tries to steal my joy with the lie "if you dance you're doing it because people are watching" or "people will think you're dancing because you want attention." He's such a ... ugh i cant think of a word bad enough for him. He's a liar. And you know what? people might think that, but so what? if God wants you to sing and dance and be crazy for him- do it! It is HIM that you are going to be spending eternity with right? and then you can tell them:
I will become even more undignified than this!!! 2 Samuel 6:21
Please dont discontinue church because of the dress code, and obligations, and legalism. We are the body of Christ, and need a community to draw us to deeper and better places. Start a revolution, beginning in your own house- and the fire will spread. Trust me Fiesta Iglesia is so worth it!!!
Today was our 1st day of ministry here in Guatemala. We heard we were going to an orphanage- which I was so happy about, not to mention taking them happy meals which bring me joy in themselves- . Ive been waiting all race to work regularly with an orphanage- not just go in and take sad feed the children pictures.i couldnt wait
When we got there i soon realized our happy meals were going to be a band-aid on a bullet wound. Apparently the orphanage was shut down at some point due to corruption- but some of the kids chose to stay because the didnt have anywhere else to go.
There is no money. Because it was shut down no ones paying for anthing for these kids. There are 15 5-16year olds that have fallen through the cracks. The 2 women that work there go to the market every morning to beg for food to feed the kids. Thats how they eat, if they eat. The women dont get paid for being there- and sometimes take donated money to feed their families. Rumor has it they are part of why the orphanage was shut down- no one wants to deal with the corruption- so they are all these kids have.
There were kids with special needs left there because no one wanted to deal with them. A little girl with autism, a girl who cant speak or hear, and a little boy in a wheel chair. I was horrified when i discovered him- his wheelchair was tied to the wall, his hands tied to his wheelchair with strips of bedsheets, his pants soaked with urine... I tried to touch his swollen hand and he sunk his finger nails into my skin...They said if he wasnt tied down he would attack the other children.
Then there was a 14 year old girl named Kat- that i noticed limping. I then realized she had had some sort of accident- the fronts of her shins and feet were solid scabs and her foot was infected, huge and swollen. Of course she hadnt been to the dr. Who would take her to the dr? It amazed me how easy it was to take responsibility of a minor, taker her to the dr (which was a whole other awful story) and to get medicine to giver her. 1 hour, $13, and a Chevy Yukon was all it took. I know it's not much but i had to do something- I didnt know what else to do. Im so mad about it all- all the injustice, the corruption, the suffering, the neglect- the forgotten lives. There are SO MANY people out there who have no one, who need a mommy and a daddy- or anyone to care just a little about them, to give them food and clothes- to tell them I love you and that everythings going to be ok... But these kids dont have that luxury and im mad about it!!!
P.S. the mayor of Puerto Barrios asked us to come and pray for his office today, which was HUGE. Our contact talked a little with them about this issue and we're trying to advocate for these kids. I get to do social work and ministry! Ya
So i made it to Guatemala, our final destination. We're living in a port city here called Puerto Barrios and its super pretty. We got the low down and we're going to be working doing all sorts of different things! They have a christian radio station so we'll be helping with that i think, going to a orphanage, going to local bars, ministering to teens, fighting sex trafficking, taking clothes to remote villages... anything you wanna do, we got it! Im really excited for this months ministry.
Im not gonna lie, im a bit torn about how i feel about my last month on the field. It seems so sad when everything i do is "the last time" and i love doing ministry so much, but then again i love my family and friends and miss them tons. So im udecided about how i feel. more on that later i suppose.
On an unrelated note- this is the last month for monthly donations, so those of you who've pledged support keep that in mind! Im going to try to blog more this month and keep you updated on my whereabouts :) anywho more soon!
